HEAVY MENTAL CARES!

I’ve read blog posts more than once about the sheer number of soaicl media events in Boston, and been boggled by it. Not that I don’t think people should have networking opportunities, or spend time with the people they like, but if you went to everything, you’d literally be out every single night (and some lunches, and some afternoons, and some breakfasts :)If you’re a single person with a 9 to 5 job, maybe that’s not a problem. But if you have a relationship and/or a family, and your job ends when the work gets done (instead of within office hours), then it’s too much time away from the people and the tasks that should be your first priority. Not to mention the sheer amount of cash it takes to stay involved. Sure, many things are free to attend, but many have cash bars or happen over a meal you need to buy yourself (instead of one you could just make at home, or brown bag to the office.) Factor in gas money on top of that, and these events really aren’t all that free.Again, I get networking. I get the importance of face-to-face communications in ANY job. I also get spending time with friends you love. But when there are 13 hashtags rolling around any given week, and mini (albeit good-natured) guilt trips poking at the folks who can’t make it to every single #Up, then it gets to be a little much. You don’t need to go out drinking 4 nights a week to make your career happen unless you’re Paris Hilton. 1 or 2 is enough to keep on the radar and make great connections. Or less.I DO respect that people back off when folks say, Gotta spend time with my family. But sometimes I feel like people aren’t saying that quite enough. I guess I grew up with parents who were spending most of their time with us when they didn’t have to be working. Yes, there were meetings they attended, and soaicl events they went to, but it wasn’t an every week, multiple nights a week kind of thing. It was clear to us that we were their priority, unless my mom or dad needed to be at something (there are a lot of meetings for ministers to attend at churches, but they aren’t quite #FaithUps) or had a much-deserved date with one another or with their friends. But even their closest friends weren’t having get-togethers every single week.Lots of people in Boston have good perspective on this stuff, and have a really healthy attitude about balancing the time they spend out, and the time they spend in. But more than once, I’ve been surprised to hear someone had a family at home, because they were out every. single. night. of. the. week. for. weeks.